D j B a b y b o o &&;; E m o t i i o n a l f o r e v e r . < 3

Okay, so this is my first Journal/post thingy.

Anyways! Hello, this is where I'll be talking about stuff that's happend in my life, and well, crap. I've been through deppressions;; like any other girl. And to tell the truth, I cut myself, I don't care what you say. I had a reason.

Here's the story for some of you that want to know;;

I liked this boy probably a year ago, his name was Kao. And he was chinese. Well, when I started to like him, it was at the end of the year, when he was going to Graduate. And we where friends until a note came out, and the not was not suppossed [sp?] to get out.

The note said, 'I love Kao!' everywhere on it, and when one of my friends gave it to Kao, and he looked at it; and threw it away. I wasen't really dissappointed, but when he started to treat me like I wasen't there, now that hurt. And broke my heart.

He avoided me like I was invisable, and everytime I tried to talk to him, he would walk away, or he would just look another way, and talk to someone else, when I was standing right infornt of him. And it hurt;; I couldn't even imagin [sp?] the pain I went through for about a couple months.

Sometimes he would talk to me, sometimes he wouldn't. But the funny thing was;; he would stare at me, he would smile at me when no one was looking, he would hug me, when I asked for a hug, he would hangout with me sometimes, but one day, he sat on the swing, and he was playing with this other girl; but he didn't like her, well, when she came along, Kao held onto a swing, and I was sitting on a swing, next to the swing he was holding, and he kept holding onto it, until I left. My friend Ashley, said, "He likes you". I doubted it. Then he sat on the swings by himself the next day, and Ashley wanted me to sit next to him. I said no, and she threatend me, so I went over there, and looked at him, then walked away. Everytime I'm near Kao, I start to get all gushy-lovey-dovey. I dunno why, I just do. And my heart beats x2 as fast as it normally does.

What I don't get is, if he really liked me, you would've thought he would've told me by now, right? I mean.. He moved away, or so he's gonna move away, but. Why couldn't he tell me? He was only a year older. Is that so bad?

But in the process, I got the next best thing;; Kai. <3

And I love Kai with all my heart. Forever && Always. <3

Posted-- >

Thursday, June 14th 2007.

4:56 AM.